I Want
What I want & What I don’t want
What do I want?
That’s the question, I’m trying to answer
Is there a difference between a want and a need
Oh It’s hard figuring out the answer
Do I want to be happy? Yes I do
Do I want to be free from my own demons? Yes I do, but I don’t know how to
What is there to do?
Well I want to pray
I want to be closer to god, in my soul and heart
But I don’t know how to
I don’t know how to surrender myself
I want to open myself up to you and everyone I know
But I don’t know how to do just that
I don’t know how to open myself especially to him
And it’s not everyday I face myself to my own doom
And what is my doom?
Well my doom is seeing what I could’ve done when I had the chance
And being to too late to take that chance
That chance to change for the better
Not to lose myself
But to improve myself
What I don’t want
What I don’t want to do is give up when things are hard
I don’t want to stick with the same old, same old routine anymore
I don’t want to be false behind my own words
I don’t want to hate myself anymore
Or be mad at myself anymore
I don’t want to bear everything by myself when I have
People in my life who love me for what I have and who I am
No, really people who love me for who I really am without judgement
I don’t want to disappoint people because I’m afraid of disappointing myself
So have I figured it out?
I’m still figuring everything out but
I do at least know a little about what I want
And what I want is to be free from my own demons
To be free so that way I can be a better boyfriend
I want to be free to be a better fried
To be a better son
To be a better brother
And in reality I have become the best of everything I mentioned
Some more than others, but still doing my best
I just wasn’t free within myself to really love me
And in turn didn’t allow love from others to really be let in
To really allow their help, to be accepted
To be vulnerable
To allow help when I need it
To know that I’m not alone
To know that everything will be ok even if I fall
